i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
