You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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