Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
