is your mom at the bar?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
