i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
