yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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