hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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