when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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