I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize