Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
