"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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