I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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