Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
