I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
