looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
