i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
