Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
