'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
