I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
