I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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