Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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