and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
