Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
