I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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