There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
