I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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