That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
