guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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