i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
