What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So squirting runs in the family.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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