Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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