it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
