he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
