When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
