I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
pop tarts are not kleenex
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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