Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
