when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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