mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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