tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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