Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
