We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
