i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
