my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
