2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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