I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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