you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
