she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
