Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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