i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
