Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
