Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
