I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
