I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
