This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think your dad took our porno
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
