I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
