there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
