I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™