you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize