clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The power of my boobs compel you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.