would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
